New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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