He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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