why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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