What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize