did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
