Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
3 2 1 whiskey
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
