and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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