Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
