This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize