Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
