so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
