one two three fourrrrnication!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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