im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
