I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
