so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
