the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Acid is not a monday night drug
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I intend to get homeless drunk
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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