i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
