Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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