i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
