Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
