All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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