Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
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