I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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