Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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