Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
