is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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