mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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