Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
