I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
