I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
