The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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