Where is the hickey?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I wear drunk well.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
