butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hippo gnu deer
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
