anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
