Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
