airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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