There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
