It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
