How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
