It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
