Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
where are my eyebrows?
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