Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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