Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
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