You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
