well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
