Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
