The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
