Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize