Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
