hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
