ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
