Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize