In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
