If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Is it because I queefed?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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