Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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