Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the condom got lost in my hair
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
