69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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