Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
