so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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