Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
