there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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