do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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