Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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