I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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