We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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