margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
