its not stalking. its research.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
