so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
