Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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