well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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