I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
