I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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