the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
