i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
