i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just had sex bonerless
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
